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Author: Alan Davidson
Since the beginning of religious history man has attempted
to prove the existence of the human soul. That vehicle
which allows God to interact with all that is humanly
good in the body of man. Proving the soul as a fact has
been ever elusive, however.
Empirical science declares that there is no proof for
the existence of such a soul. The possibilities of such
spiritual questions have been relegated to philosophers,
psychologists and religious leaders. Some gay spiritual
teachers assert that, yes, there is a soul and that homosexuals
themselves have a soul which is distinct from their heterosexual
brothers. They also assert that this "Gay Soul" can
offer elements of guidance and healing to our troubled
world communities . Is there a soul unique to homosexuals?
Or is this more intellectual pride and separatism? If
there is any guidance and healing available from the
gay community, then what is its source? These are some
of the questions to address in search of the Gay Soul.
The model that many spiritual activists use to describe
a distinctly gay soul is that of the berdache. The berdache,
or heyoka, was an American Indian male who dressed and
acted within the tribe as a female. The berdache were respected
and honored for their differences. Many times the berdache
acted in positions of great power as arbitrators and shamans
for the tribe. They are described as: "Not a man,
not a woman, neither---something other...someone other." The
person of the berdache is one of histories few instances
of honoring of the homosexual within the greater tribe.
Subscribers of this theory overlay and extrapolate the
experience of the berdache onto that of modern gay men
and women. Some of the general assessments made are gays
as a third (and, or fourth) gender, gays having a natural
(and often exclusive) spirituality, and gays as healers
and mediators within society.
Proponents for a distinctly gay soul include Harry Hay,
co-founder of the Mattachine Society and later the Radical
Faeries; Hay calls the homosexual community "a separate
people whose time has come." Andrew Ramer, writer
and teacher, says "because we live on the edge of
gender and on the margin of society, we are consciousness
scouts." Ed Steinbrecher, a Los Angeles astrologer
and meditation teacher, calls it "the very notion
of potential---a latent quality capable of being but not
yet fully realized." Will Roscoe, author of The Zuni
Man-Woman, says "the berdache is a social, collective
figure---a specialist, a cultural worker, a priest, an
artist.....a person who mediates the divisions and contradictions
of the community."
These respected and prominent thinkers argue that homosexuals,
by their very nature, have access to spiritual dimensions
and skills that heterosexuals do not. Many gay men and
women find this concept appealing. It allows for a feeling
of specialness in a society that heaps them with abuse.
Rather than an exclusive and inherent gay soul, other
gay spiritual thinkers speak of the sacred wound. The idea
here is that all people are psychically the same. Through
life's traumatic experiences we are propelled into growth
and transformation or the depths of despair. It is the
events of our lives and what we do with them that makes
the difference. This idea was first presented by Carl Jung.
He spoke of the wounds to the personality that could lead
to neurosis and psychosis or to calling forth a greater
capacity for being human. Dr. Jean Houston calls this The
Sacred Wound: "In this wounding, the psyche is opened
up and new questions begin to be asked about who we are
in our depths. These powerful questions need not lead to
alienation and withdrawal, but can....contain the seeds
of healing and transformation."
Proponents for the potentials of psychic wounding are
Andrew Harvey, author and Oxford Fellow. He says, "From
the deepest wound of my life grew its miraculous possibility." He
asserts that everyone on the planet is wounded in some
way , but if you're a gay man, your wound is particularly
big. That's why, he explains, there are so many gay men
at the forefront of our spiritual movements. They've parleyed
their pain into strength.
Ram Dass, Freudian psychiatrist, author and spiritual teacher,
says that "being wounded refers to the personality---not
to the soul. I'd say I've been.....Absolutely, deeply wounded.
Anybody who is awake to the human predicament of being
lost in separateness starts to yearn for the truth that
they are not separate." Paul Monette, the author who
died last year of AIDS, frames the wounding this way...."It's
been my experience that gay and lesbian people who have
fought through their self-hatred and their recriminations
have a capacity for empathy that is glorious and a capacity
to find laughter in things that is like praising God."
Just as empirically proving the existence of a soul is
impossible so will proving the existence of a gay soul.
To explore spirituality within the gay community is a daunting
and sometimes confusing prospect. The range of expression
is as diverse as every race and culture which creates the
gay community. Yet underneath this complexity of expression
is the call for unity basic to all humans. The need to
heal all the schisms of separation which are the source
of pain, anger and violence. Andrew Harvey calls this the "mystical
process....entering into conscious direct relationship
with the divine....having direct contact in the soul, the
core of the being, with the Source." With the experience
of this kind of rapturous soulmaking distinctions such
as, "Is there is, or is not, a gay soul," seem
unimportant.
I grew up in small rural towns around southern and central
Texas. There was little spiritual guidance from my parents
aside from a belief that church is important, though neither
of them went to services regularly. But we kids were encouraged
to go to church. As we moved around alot I had the opportunity
to attend Pentacostal, Baptist and Methodist churches.
I have fond memories of Sunday schools, Summer Bible School
camps and Methodist Youth Fellowship outings; one liberal
MYF leader sponsored a trip to see Harold and Maude. That
was radical for Clifton, Texas let me tell you. As a budding
young christian I was also aware of a growing contradiction
within myself. I was blessed and cursed with an innate
knowing that I am attracted to other men. I was also sexually
active at 5 years of age. As I was being indoctrinated
into the conservative christian morals I quickly realized
that my own sexual practices were a dark secret that I
would have to endure in silence, along with the shame and
the guilt.
The schism between my growing homosexual nature and what
my church taught me was a sin against god (and country)
led to fairly dramatic tensions in my personality and behaviors.
I did as many homosexuals have done in response to this
kind of socialized abuse. I divorced myself from the christian
church and I began a brief flirtation with agnosticism.
I am fortunate in that along with my innate knowledge of
my homosexuality, I also have an innate belief in God and
a belief that God created me homosexual for his pleasure.
My stint with agnosticism didn't last long. These innate
beliefs and a growing faith in the wisdom of the universe
began a search for a spiritual path that honored me as
a gay man. This path would also lend me the tools to heal
the legacy of shame that my earlier upbringing has imprinted
upon me.
My spiritual explorations would lead me to study the mystical
traditions of the world's religions. Taoism, Tantric Buddhism,
Hinduism, Sufiism( of the Islamic religion), American Indian
traditions and mystical christian traditons have all contributed
to my world view.. The thing that attracts me to mysticism
is the basic tenet that God is an experience and that right
living and spiritual practice deliver the experience of
Godhead.
Another appealing aspect of mysticism is the reduction
of all things to one source, one unifying energy that animates
all the created worlds. This is the underlying principle
of the world's
religions: the Chinese have the Tao, the Hindu's have Bhrama,
Islam has Allah, the Jew's have Jehovah and the christians
have God. Mysticism undercuts all semantic distinctions
about who's right and who's wrong and focuses on the capacity
of every human being to experience enlightenment.
An overview of mysticism allows me to see the similarities
of the religions and appreciate the distinctions that each
makes.
Some of the similarities that I appreciate are: Abstinance
from violence, sex, alchohol, meat etc. Respect for all
life regular call to ritual, prayer and meditation.
About the author:
Alan Davidson is the co-author of <i>Healing the
Heart of the World</i> with Prince Charles, Carolyn
Myss, John Gray, and Neal Donald Walsch. Alan, a Registered
Massage Therapist since 1988, is the owner and director
of Essential Touch Therapies in Houston, Texas. He has
a B.S. from University of Houston, Downtown, with an emphasis
on psychology, sociology, philosophy, and religion. He
can be reached at http://www.throughyourbody.com
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